greeting card holidays that remind you of death.

You're at that bullseye logo'd store and you're doing okay. Then you see the display with the slippers, one toecap stitched with "Best" and the other embroidered with "Dad".

And somewhere inside you just fucking fall apart, and you're in the space where he used to be, that abyss of loss that will never again be filled, and you miss him so very much, and it reminds you that his death will equinox the holiday this year.

Fuck you, Father's Day, you fucking greeting card throwaway fake commercial American timestamp. Fuck.

And here's what I have to say that's constructive: Don't buy your Dad another tie, or that shait card with some one-sentiment-fits-all canned inanity, or some clown-arsed coffee mug. Instead take some time to stop and contemplate about what that man means in your life, and how much of you actually is him. And whether that's bad or good, then take some follow up time to go either have it out, or fix what's bad, or go let him know how & exactly why you are thankful for him.

Your father is limited-time only, he is mortal, that door will close, and you will lose him. Go say those things now and not just on some bullshit annual confabulated demarcation of the calendar like Father's Day.

Do it as you need to, do it frequently if you can, put it in words from deep inside and spare nothing. Address him with the very humanity you've been given by him, his accidental act or considered trust in his own potential as a parent, and his investment in you as a person, as a vessel or vehicle that will manifest as a possible gift to the world that is by circumstance or design or wyrd is a part of him. That's the covalent mutual legacy and act of faith that is your bond. Go articulate that so he understands that you understand that, and acknowledge his role in your life because that recognition of worth is the priceless thing that Father's Day only emptily mimics and falls so achingly short of. And when he is gone, you will be thankful you did.

[My Dad was supposed to be thumbs-downing with me as a response to my Mom being in the hospital gurney (this is her POV as she's actually taking our picture) after falling in a parking lot at the end of a long hike and busting her forehead open on a huge rock.]

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By day, Guillermo Maytorena IV is a happy bookstore fixture, but at night he's an Investigative Norse Mythologist! He's also willing to entertain the idea of being an adult film star, gynobot tester, or a tour guide in Scandinavia. Should you have any interest in his expertise or opportunities in those arenas, do contact him.