that is what it's like.

It is like watching a film every afternoon of the one you held most dear but can no longer have, and not being allowed to leave the theater.

It is like a burning anger inside that you can't explain, nor vent, and you know if you were to hurl it all forth from your throat, it would solve nothing, and still be just as much inside you.

It is like walking at the bottom of the ocean, against the deepest current, and you can't breathe, and your heart is being crushed in an abyss of helplessness.

That is what this feels like.

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While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him.