Love however is not currency, and even modest weddings prove to be expensive events. In order to defray costs and have enough for a honeymoon next year and a more sensible retirement, we're capping the guestlist to an intimate 40 people. More than that and it becomes ineffective and there's no way all of you can get to marry each other in the course of that time.
Yes, you, marry.
Face it: a wedding's not just two people, it's a whole group who marry, the two families, the longtime friends who meet & befriend, the individuals whose contexts are changed by a resetting into a now-larger whole when fates intertwine. That's how it should be, and that's how this will be.
That number also means we had to make some hard & fast decisions. Our families, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, club personalities, afterparty people, affluent gift-givers, drinking buddies, exes, and internet circles, all accrued over two lifetimes, literally number in the tens of thousands. So, if we've never met you in realspace, hung out with you outside of online/work/the club/a bar/an aunt's house, then it's a no-go. This doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful. But if you've never made time for us outside contexts, then this isn't the occasion where we're going to make time for you. Even if we have, if we haven't seen you inside a year, then that's a tell-tale criteria of irregularity.
Also distance sometimes makes the heart grow fonder, but it in turn makes it bloody expensive to come to things that are happening far away. One needs time off, buffer travel time, costly plane tickets, remote transportation arrangements, and extra money to cover food & expenses you wouldn't normally be spending if you were in your city. Ergo, we've only invited two family members who don't live in Tucson because we're posolutely certain that it's no great shakes or inconvenience for them to get here. Conversely, we wouldn't want an obligation put on us to get somewhere that's going to take half our year's savings for the sake of a few hours. See the caring there?
And we forget who said, "You can pick your friends, but can't pick your family", but there's certain truth in that. Given our Irish & Hispanic ancestry, there's whole branches of family to consider, but as per the above axiom, we've picked more friends by percentage because they've proactively picked us back. Plus we don't want the impossibility of having to decide who's blood is thicker than who's and where to draw that line. Is a second cousin more important than an uncle by marriage, or a step-aunt we see all the time less worthy than a brother we never see? We keep the peace by not making those calls and not having most of our blood relations ask each other why they were or were not invited. Such jilted feelings are a false standard of ego, having nothing to do with true caring for another, and we're doing you a kindness by sparing you even that irrelevant sting.
Semi-finally, we have every intention of renewing this most happy of conjoinings as soon as we can, whether that's just having a BBQ with a bit of ceremony, repeated all-night toasting with all y'all at our place, or somesuch, we'll want to repeat this ritual that gives our lives newfound meaning, so keep your notifications on in the coming years, and maybe invite us out for a drink in the interim so you can catch up with us that way, yes?
And finally, again, we love you.
Take that to the bank with interest.
Thanks for caring about us.
[Should you still insist on gifts, our registry is on Amazon.]
While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him via LinkedIn or G+.
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