Jim Wise walks in, red in the face from too much driving in the 100+ degrees to and from Mount Graham Observatory to work on telescopic mirrors as an optical engineer. Always gives me grief for wearing the black low-top split-toe tabi shoes. ("I need them to climb castle walls 'cause I'm shinobi like that.") A few months ago, Jim almost got into a fight with two skate punks in the parking lot, one of whom slapped his car with his deck while he was stopped at an intersection. Those pimply faced punks were lucky Jim decided otherwise.
Why? Jim's a freaking ninja.
Back in 1990 he was cast as a Foot Clan soldier in the first live-action TMNT. But it's not Hollywood that gave him his Ninja status -- it's the decade and a half of training before that in the arduous and deadly art of Ninjitsu that qualified him to be an adversary to guys in green foam rubber turtle costumes. And to give me grief over shoes I've got no business wearing.
Yet I've unwisely decided to get his attention by saying, "Eric, Jim there needs you as a consultant."
But red-faced Jim's actually in no mood to trifle. Stepping towards me behind the front desk, he replies, "Here, I brought you something."
His arm flicks down, and *click*, the blade flips out of the quicksnap folding knife he's got cradled in his hand. All the action's happening just below the counter so if the blade comes up under my ribcage he'd probably have enough time to nonchalantly walk away before I collapsed in a pool of my own organs.
Unthinking in no-thought, I sweep my left hand down to block his rising wrist, while my right thrusts palm out to connect with his chest. Well almost, as he steps back, half surprised. But not as surprised as I was, because I've no idea where those moves came from.
"Hey! That's really good. You've earned your ninja badge."
Today, I am Ninja!
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| [And this is the secret badge I'm waiting for, all the way from Koga, exclusively handwoven and delivered by a fivesome of hot Kunoichi. Well, not really. But Jim is bringing me something like this.] |
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While a mostly happy bookstore fixture for over two decades, Guillermo Maytorena IV is currently willing to entertain your serious proposals for employment as a literary/cinema critic, goth journalist, castellan, airship pilot/crewperson, investigative mythologist, or assisting in a craft brewery. Should you be connected to any of the above or equally interesting endeavours, do contact him via LinkedIn or G+.
